Feeling worn out like me? Like you’re failing at this? Can’t find balance between being a parent, coach, nurse, teacher, artist, scientist, chef, designer, oh, and for some of you, your day job too. What we are doing during this shared experience, this extreme moment in humanity, is no simple feat and I think we all need to give ourselves more credit. I want to prove to you why I think you are amazing.

*Please hear me that if you have been sick, lost a loved one, are working on the front lines, or lost your job, I have been thinking about you. The complexity of your days surpasses what I’m listing below. Please feel this virtual hug from me, and know that you are amazing, worthy, and you humble me.

You’re awake. Let’s just keep it simple and start with this. What you’re going through is extremely taxing on your brain and your body. As explained in this article, living right now requires a lot of extra thinking and it’s exhausting. Making decisions has so many different considerations these days- working through our worries and stresses is causing moral fatigue. Furthermore, studies have shown that zoom calls cause “zoom fatigue” as our brains have to work extra to keep eye contact, decipher information that’s lacking many nonverbal cues, and then there’s the technical issues that slow things down as well. Plus sleeping is harder for many of us as we work through this, but look at you! You’re reading this, you’re awake!

You’re feeding people. That’s super complex right now. Shopping is no longer just “popping in to grab dinner” for most of us. It’s planning for a week of meals, arranging your fridge, cupboard, and likely some other makeshift space to organize all the food you acquire which is a feat in itself. Gearing up for shopping, keeping your distance with your glasses fogging up and only realizing half way through the trip that you’re going the wrong way in the newly labeled aisles. And when you get home, it’s not over, there’s the food quarantine, and maybe even wiping off all your items. So even if you are hard on yourself for the quality of the food you are giving out or for using delivery again please acknowledge that you are feeding people and it’s amazing.

You’re cleaning all day. Yes, maybe you look around and there are 7 crackers on the ground that are now in 100 pieces because they got stepped on, three pairs of pants for one child from one day, a sink overfilled with dishes, 6 crayons in the living room (and three in the bathroom), and one stick-on earring that always finds its way to the bottom of your foot. Well, maybe that’s not your case this but this is a true account of my home right now. And the thing is, I cleaned all day and I tried to get them to clean all day. Maybe it doesn't look like it, but I promise you are cleaning a ton and it’s amazing.

You’re diversifying your child’s day. Yes, you! You who said your kid has been watching too much tv. Did you put some energy into navigating the shows they watch? Did you also get out some school work for them? Did you kick them out into the yard for some fresh air? Did you stop and chat during lunch? Did you set up another zoom call and figure out another login? Did you play a game with them? Yep, you’re planning a pretty cool schedule day after day after day and these kids are demanding and it’s amazing.

You’re connecting with humans in new ways. It’s not what you wanted. My mom asked me what I want to do when then all is over. She wants to plan a road trip across America getting in and out of her car at her leisure. I just want to lick everyone (hugs will do). I really miss human connection. But here we are. Have you had a virtual meeting with someone you haven’t seen in a while? The creativity and flexibility that is needed to stay connected these days is really quite astounding. Those happy hours, virtual friend meetups, silly drive bys, and long phone calls are unlike the norm for sure. But, they all are real, and you are getting to connect in different ways with people and it’s amazing.

You’re creating. Yep. You are putting up rainbows and hearts and teddy bears in windows. Maybe your sidewalk chalk game is off the charts. And those obstacle courses, damn. You are coloring with your child and sculpting with playdoh. You are dancing in the living room and bringing books to life. But it doesn’t stop there, creativity doesn’t mean only art. You are living a very creative life as you make do with very different constraints in your time that call for inventive creative solutions. Every choice you make and shift you lead requires creativity and it’s amazing.

You are helping. That “thank-you” you gave to someone who is working hard, that is heard and strengthens them. That art you put up in the window, that made someone smile. That food you donated or money to give food, that is feeding hungry humans. That post you shared, it enlightened someone or made them laugh and we need that. That letter you wrote to your child’s teacher, that helped them feel valued when they feel helpless. That phone call you made was likely just when someone was at their tipping point. That hug you gave your child or partner, that comforted them when they felt confused and scared. I bet you could list many many more things you are doing to help and you should go write it out and stick it on the fridge, you rockstar, because it’s amazing.

So please, take a deep breath (learning to meditate too?) and acknowledge how hard you are working and how flexible you are with all of your creative solutions to all these crazy constraints we are experiencing. Please honor all that you’re doing and don’t for one second that you should be doing anything I wrote that you’re not doing. I promise they don’t need sidewalk chalk. Don’t let shame step in and make you feel bad about feeling bad. And, when it’s hard, acknowledge that it is hard. You are growing right now. Look at how you persevere, look at that grit! What you are pulling off - you multitasker who cleans, feeds, plans, connects, creates, helps is amazing.

With hope and positivity,

Anela

An Argument for Why You Are Amazing During Covid 19 Quarantine